german spring

Alrighty, then, Germany it is this Spring -- Berlin and Bavaria, to be precise, and lots of Alpine towns and villages, with Alpine mountains, forests, and rivers on the side. i'm looking forward to this.
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hobbit-esque

People don't believe me when i say i don't like adventure. But it's true. All this adventure that's been happening because of This Writing Thing -- i don't want it. What i want, i think, is just to settle down, find a guy who loves me and whom i love, and who will accept me for who i am without wanting to make me into his version of who he thinks i should be, and wash dishes for the rest of my life in happy domestic bliss.
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i was asked once, why all this moving around, why all this running here and there, what is it that i'm searching for? Well, truth be told, i guess my answer is that i'm searching for this person with whom i can have this life that i want. i don't know if i'd ever find him in Singapore.
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i'm not sure if Life is in the habit of always giving us what we want.
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decision fatigue, sunk costs, and other cheem-sounding words

So i found out today that some psychologists somewhere have come up with a new malady called 'decision fatigue'. It's amazing. There's always some new name, some new label, that one can attach to some human malfunctioning. Fascinating.
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Am also thinking about sunk costs, and how easy it is to slip into the sunk cost fallacy: thinking that just because we've already invested a lot in something (anything), it makes sense to continue investing even if we don't actually want this something, because, if we don't, we'd have wasted the initial investment.
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Ah life.
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a long silence

It's been a long silence, here on this blog. i'm not exactly sure what it means -- whether it's laziness, or whether it's life happening elsewhere (Real Life! Offline Life!), or whether it's just that i've lost the desire to be journalling about stuff here. Maybe it's cos i really don't like being 'in transit' -- with so many things waiting to end, and waiting to start. There are only so many blog posts that one can write about feeling very Thomas Merton. Maybe it's because so many unexpected things keep happening -- new things, and signs of new life, perhaps, but things i could never have foreseen even three months ago. (Strangely, however, i am not surprised. i am learning now the difference between un-surprise, and expectation.)
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One gets tired of constantly being on the move, metaphorically, of constantly having to make new choices and make do with what life throws at you. Constant change is tiring. i am longing for stability, for a steady rhythm to things that i can count on. i am tired of waiting on other people for things to happen -- but that's the price of working with others, i suppose, of living in community. The alternative is to do things alone, and i like that even less.
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Anyway. In the next few days, even more decisions to make. Decisions decisions...! Very tired.
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not punny

It's odd -- how so many people seem to assume that i'm a punny kind of person, that i like linguistic games and puns etc. Because i am a writer?
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But my brain doesn't tend that way as far as humour is concerned. Maybe it's a limitation on my part -- it probably is -- but i just don't think like that, and i can't do the back-and-forth exchanging of witty humour that so many of my highly intelligent, highly literate friends seem to enjoy so much. And when they do it with me, lob a clever pun my way, i just freeze up and generally fail to return the shot.
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i like situational humour, the humour of irony, the wry, dry humour of the Brits. Maybe it's a lower form of humour, not as intellectual, but that's the kind of humour i can relate with. i wish people would stop trying to be punny with me. No fun feeling like "fail" everytime one has a conversation with a friend...
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weird

Life is weird. No doubt about it. The more i think about it, the more i think that this is the only thing i'm ever going to know for certain about life. Its ineluctable weirdness.
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