fish and ponds

Thinking about fish and ponds. Small-pond-ness works if you want fame, stature, power. It might be a wise choice if competing against others, and winning, is essential to your survival in whatever way -- whether it be career survival, economic survival, or whatever. On the other hand, small ponds also mean limitation and the danger of complacency. It's easy to stop wanting to learn when you're already bigger than most of the other fish around you, and i think that plateaus, while comfortable, aren't the best places to be if you want to keep growing.
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Big-pond-ness works if what you want is to keep learning, keep improving, if you don't mind anonymity and humility, and if your survival doesn't depend on your being better than others. Anonymity and humility can be painful, though. It's nice to feel like you have a stake in things, it's nice to feel that you matter. But still. Nothing beats the high of being in a place where everyone is better than you at whatever it is you want to get better at, where you can just soak in the brilliance and think, Gosh i feel so stupid, where you feel like there's lots to learn. It's invigorating, it keeps you alive. And feeling alive, is a nice way to feel.
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