like horses over the hill

That feeling -- when life starts feeling crowded and cluttered, when it feels like there's too much noise, too many distractions. Of course, 'too much' and 'too many' are always relative to what is felt is needed -- and i guess life right now is not really that much more noisy and crowded than usual -- it's just that i'm feeling i need more silence and space than would be reasonable for a Singaporean to expect.
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Perhaps i should start with a minor room overhaul. Just set aside one afternoon to clear up everything, throw away the junk, give away the books (why do i keep having to give away books, no matter how hard i try to control their numbers?). Maybe a table with fewer books and papers on it might go some way towards feeling some measure of order in my life.
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This involvement thing. Is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it's nice to feel that i'm making a difference, in my small way. That i'm contributing and helping to build. And God this country needs people who are willing and able to contribute and help to build. On the other hand, it really is a lot of noise, a lot of having to talk and smile and socialise; and while i'm not an unfriendly person by any means, hobnobbing drains me and i really wish i had more space and time for myself. i think, perhaps i need to learn to compartmentalise and shut-out, rather than having everything drifting like so much flotsam-and-jetsam on the surface of my consciousness, the way it has these past few weeks.
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That still point of the turning world that Eliot talked about. Need to find it again.
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These days days days run away like horses over the hill... How time flies.
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