a pragmatist at heart (4)

Pragmatism has a funny reputation in Singapore. Most Singaporeans take the word to mean "materialism", or "money-minded-ness" -- which is of course not exactly accurate. Pragmatism is about doing what works. And what works naturally includes material realities like physical resources, money, etc. But there's more to it than that. What "works" for one place or individual, may not "work" elsewhere or for someone else, not just because of the material realities, but because of things like culture, history, values, etc.

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i consider myself a fairly pragmatic person. Which is probably not how most people see me -- i probably look like a hopeless idealist to people who don't know me well.

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But if pragmatism is basically about doing what works, i think that for most of my life, i've managed to make choices that work for me. They might not have worked for someone else with different values, priorities, resources, and needs, but they have worked for me. Even the sacrifices that i've made -- sacrifices that have cost me a great deal -- i've made because i knew that the alternative, to not make them, would hurt me more, in ways that perhaps most people would not understand. 

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i guess i've been lucky in the sense that i've been fairly comfortable materially, which always helps in making things work. It also probably helps to be quite easily contented -- i don't really need much to keep me happy. Or rather, the things i need are usually not so much the material things. i'm fairly happy living a pretty simple life, materially. Also, i'm fairly OK with being a bit out of step with other people -- probably an example of making a virtue out of necessity, because, thanks to my background, i usually end up feeling out-of-sync with the majority, no matter what group / community i happen to be hanging out with. It's not a nice feeling, but i'm, unfortunately, used to it.

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So in a sense, it doesn't take as much to make things "work" for me as it does for other people. i can be relatively idealistic compared to most people around me, and still live a life that "works" -- for me -- even though i'm fairly certain it wouldn't work for many others. 

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Being a pragmatist is about being able to see essence, and to understand that essence necessitates limitation. It's what Louise Gluck said in her poem, 'Circe's Power': 

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... every sorceress is 

a pragmatist at heart; nobody 

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sees essence who can't 

face limitation. 

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i love those lines. They are so true. To be pragmatic, to make things work, requires an understanding of the essence of things. Self-knowledge, knowledge of other people. Knowledge of situations, communities, etc. It requires the ability to take the world as it is, not as we would like it to be. (Which is not as simple as it seems. Often what is, is not truly the essence of something, but a distorted or lesser version of what the essence actually is. It's not easy to tell the difference.)

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i've been learning, over the years, to listen to my intuition when it comes to understanding people and situations, when it comes to seeing their essence. My gut feelings are usually right, and most of the time, when i make mistakes, it's because i've ignored my intuition. Which usually happens when it's saying things that i don't like to hear. Sometimes, this is because i want to think well of people, and my intuition is telling me that i shouldn't be thinking well of them. Sometimes, it's because i want something so much that i ignore the warnings that my intuition is screaming at me in the depths of my gut. The consequences are usually very bad.

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