a bend in the river

i can't remember exactly when it was -- the last time i felt this shift happening in my mind, a change in the things i'm interested in. i do remember i became aware of it over dinner with a friend whom i used to have so much in common with intellectually -- we used to be interested in broadly the same things, but during our conversation that day, i found myself feeling so distant from the things she was talking about. She hadn't changed; so it was clear that i had.
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i'm wondering if this evening might end up in my memory as another example of a turning point in my -- ok this is going to sound soooooooo pretentious -- 'intellectual journey', for want of a better way to put it. A similar pattern -- an encounter with something that, in the past, i was pretty deeply invested in; a realisation that i really don't care that much anymore even though i will always take a friendly and curious interest in the latest goings-on; a crystallisation or mental articulation of the brave new thing that i am becoming more and more interested in; and a concurrent realisation that this shift has been taking place for a long time -- for years, in fact -- without me being entirely / consciously aware of it.
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i was about to say that there's a kind of sadness or sense of loss in this moving on; but on second thoughts, no, there is no sadness. The shift has been taking place for too long for any sadness to be felt. On the contrary, this all feels rather exciting, especially coming at this point in time when i'm once again being tempted towards a PhD. If i do decide to take that route, it certainly will be very, very useful to know where my intellectual interests are heading, so that i don't make the mistake of going back to old territory that i don't actually care very much about anymore, simply because it is comfortable and familiar. And even if i don't take the further studies route eventually, it's still nice to know that one's mind has not stagnated entirely and is still capable of renewal and discovery. New ground means new knowledge, new people, maybe even a new community, outside the confines of what i already know and am starting to find stale and limiting. All good things to look forward to.
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