closure

So here i am, back in Berlin, and about to leave again. i'm sitting in front of a window that looks out on a quiet side-street near Alexanderplatz. Directly across the road sit three recycling bins: one each for 'Braunglas', 'Weissglas', and 'Grunglas'. Can't say the Germans aren't organised.
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So how was everything? i've been away from Singapore, traipsing from place to place across two continents, for more than 2 months -- did i find what i expected?
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Well. i don't know what i expected. i did hope to get some rest; to be refreshed. i knew i would see mountains lakes rivers forests seas -- because in a sense this trip was planned around that goal. i hoped to be able to write, but i was afraid i would not. i hoped to figure out what next in life. i hoped to recover and heal. But did i expect to do all these things? No. i don't think so.
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So did i find what i hoped to find?
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Yes, and no. It was a very enriching trip -- and i wouldn't change it for all the world. (Hmm. Wait. Maybe there are some things i wouldn't mind changing. But i am content with how it turned out.) i didn't write much, but i do have a good idea for something i hope will turn out to be a fair-sized project, and i chanced upon the materials i'd need to make that project happen.
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But i think, best of all, i feel like i've finally turned the page on the last... 10 (?) years. i still haven't figured out exactly WHAT it is that makes the last ten years The Last Ten Years -- possibly just the fact that i was so un-free. How was i un-free? Let me count the ways.......
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And i feel now that this trip has given me a fresh start: a place from which to finally make some choices in freedom, rather than constrained by circumstances external to myself, or by my own personal un-freedoms that were keeping me from coming to terms with my reality. i think i've learnt much in The Last Ten Years that will stand me in good stead as i move forward towards whatever comes next. It's good to feel that one is in a place in which one can make good choices.
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So now. Onwards. Here's to whatever the future may bring.
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