mending wall

Some people are by nature wall-builders, others, bridge-builders. Both are necessary - the former, to define and preserve, assert and keep inviolate, to give space for the self to be; the latter, to explore and keep open, reach out and respond, to make ways for the self to grow.

i am a bridge-builder at heart. Even as a child, i was always the one caught in the middle, or, to look at it more positively, i was always the one negotiating, peacemaking, trying to find a compromise, trying to keep a foot (and only having two feet was often a problem!) in more than one world at a time. Even now, i often find myself speaking up, not just for my own convictions, but for the views of those with whom i disagree, and sometimes, i speak for others even more than i speak for myself (something which my wall-building friends sometimes misunderstand).

It's not always comfortable, this bridge-building business, and sometimes i wish i were a wall-builder instead. How easy it must be, i am tempted to think, to retire behind the protective barrier of settled opinion, to not have one's heart divided by this sense of sympathy that compels one to think of the other even at the expense of one's self-interest. And then there are those occasions in life when wall-building is an absolute necessity - when one has to lay down the law and execute it, or when a principle or value one holds dear is threatened, or when one simply has to take a stand in order to preserve the sense of a self against some external force that threatens to encroach upon who one is. It's not easy. Just as i'm sure it's not easy for wall-builders to make themselves build bridges.

Acting against one's nature for the sake of a higher good can be very hard indeed. And even harder, the task of discerning exactly what to build, and when.
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