what is faith?

That essay collection. There's almost this aching void where i feel it needs to be. It kinda sucks to just feel so tied down at the moment, with lesson prep, marking, teaching. The thought came to me today: what would faith mean in this context? This feeling of wanting so badly to just sit down and work on something that is not the work i'm paid to do, something that, in a sense, i don't have any duty to do at all; when the work i am paid to do is something in which my responsibility to and for other people is so clear and so specific, and so much more urgent.
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i'm not sure. Would faith mean, giving only exactly what i'm paid to do at work, not do any more, and trusting that things will just somehow miraculously work out for my students? That doesn't sound quite right. Or would faith mean, not worrying too much about not reading enough good writing and not getting enough writing practice, and just trusting that when i am able to focus on the writing in all good conscience, without neglecting my work and responsibilities, the writing will somehow miraculously just happen? That doesn't sound as morally / ethically wrong as neglecting my work; but it sounds wrong anyway -- in the sense that it seems to take the writing-gift for granted. Talent needs to be exercised; otherwise it gets flabby and ineffective, just like an un-exercised body.
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i don't know. i wish i could talk to someone who does know, or who's asked the same questions, and arrived at some answers.
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