i believe

It is often thought that the key to peace and harmony, or at least tolerance, between people -- is finding points of similarity. i think this is true -- up to a point. Sure, similarities unify because we feel a sense of kinship with people who share the same traits or preferences as us. It's a natural instinct, i think; one of the things that marks us as affiliated to the animals -- this need to herd.
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However, i also think that before we seek out all the ways in which we are the same as one another, we first need to acknowledge our differences. This is the only way to preserve the individuality and uniqueness of each person or group, to reverence part of what makes each of us sacred. Trying to sweep the differences under the carpet only makes people feel as if it is somehow wrong to be different, to have different views or different ways of doing things -- and that so easily translates to feeling as if a vital part of who you are is not being given due consideration and respect. You feel like you're not being seen for who you are; that the other person is trying to make you into this little construct, designed specially to suit his or her purposes, whatever they may be. And, the upshot of this is that, when the differences finally do manifest themselves, as they always will, eventually, the result is the intense disappointment that comes with unmet expectations of congruence, accompanied by a great deal of anger and frustration, not to mention a backlog of misunderstandings that can prove extremely difficult to clear.
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Not seeing and acknowledging the differences between people diminishes their personhoods; is an attempt to force agreement or harmony by obliterating what makes each one unique. Not seeing or acknowledging the similarities, on the other hand, is isolating, divisive, sows the seeds of conflict. As with so many things in life, we need a balance of both -- to greet the special in each of us, and to see the special that holds us all in community.
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