dear reader

Some people (artists, writers, musicians, what-have-you) do what they do for the pure joy of it. i envy that freedom. Of course, writing gives me deep pleasure. i wouldn't do it otherwise; there are so many other things i have to do that i do not enjoy. But i know that, fundamentally, i write for other reasons. To communicate, to be understood, to create something beautiful, to change the world, or, if not the world, then at least whatever small part of the world i have it in my power to change. (Yes, i know how idealistic that sounds. Forgive me. i am an idealist.) And when it appears that these purposes are not accomplished, a crucial part of the motivation for writing is lost.

That explains the dry periods on my blogs. They are the times when i lose faith in what i'm doing, when it appears i'm writing into a void. Because communicating, being understood, and yes, changing the world, necessarily involve other people. Even beauty needs a beholder. So you, Dear Reader, are far more important than you actually realise as far as keeping this blog going is concerned. i write, unfortunately or not, for an audience, and i need to know the audience is there. So, leave your comments: argue, endorse, rant, respond.

This writing for an audience thing means, i think, that i'll never be a writer in the way other people i know are writers. These people write because it is who they are. i cannot imagine them apart from their writing; for them, writing has its own necessity. i know that if i ever find a better way of doing all the things i try to do through my writing, the writing will probably peter out. i'm not sure if i'm happy with that, but that is just the way it is.
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